Saturday, March 22, 2014

A Trumpet Lesson with Professor Mahler

Professor: Come on in, you're next!  

Student: Hi, Professor Mahler.

Professor: I hope you're warmed up, because I've got a lot of stuff I am expecting you to play well for me today.

Student: What kind of stuff, Professor Mahler? 

Professor:  Contained in my scores is enough stuff to keep trumpet players at the peak of their game, and audiences coming back for more for a long time to come.  Now, let's take a look at your daily agenda.  Make sure to cover as many of these items as possible every day!


PROFESSOR MAHLER'S TRUMPET STUFF:
  • soft as possible
  • loud as possible
  • lyric sweetness not expected of trumpet players
  • long fluid chorales in all registers
  • gnarly fanfares, fast and slow, soft and loud
  • sudden rude pokes and jabs
  • the mean and the ugly (the spirit, not the tone)
  • high note diminuendos to nothing
  • the mother of all offstage solos!
  • shocking and unexpected entrances
  • huge leaps in a single bound, soft and loud, fast and slow
  • highest note, lowest note
  • the longest note ever
  • very quiet triplets on a low C sharp
  • offstage screech part
  • transposition always required 
  • complete accuracy always expected

Student: Gee, professor, I'm not sure I am ready to do all of that stuff!  You see, I have many issues and problems that must be solved.  What can you suggest for all of my ailments?  

Professor Mahler:  What I have written is all you will ever need. 


2 comments:

Albert Castillo said...

Amen!

Jackie Kean said...
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