Just the notes, please!

Consider this project. You are free to ignore all dynamics and phrasings. You may forget about any tempo markings, and put that metronome in a lock box. Finishing your whole piece is not a requirement, in fact don't even think about it. You're going to play just one note at a time. You may even become brain-dead to rhythms and all things musical. For now you are allowed to be totally clueless except for one thing.

Let's pretend that you will be awarded $50 for every right note you manage to produce. (Do try to give each a decent sound - no bricks allowed). Inasmuch as there is no time limit, all you have to do is sound great, one note at a time. Take as long as you want between notes because this is only about quality. In fact, quantity is your enemy. If you once again get impatient and start spewing out strings of questionable notes, then you instantly get docked $100 for every one of those notes in question. One clam cancels out two good notes. You can't afford many losses. You will quickly drive yourself into bankruptcy.

O.K. For all of those who are independently wealthy, or for whom losing a bunch of money means nothing, let's try another approach. You will have attached to your bell a high-voltage electric bad-note zapper. Talk about being wired. Jolts of super-charged electric shocks will instantly channel through your horn and go directly to your chops and well beyond at the slightest hint of a junk note. If your notes fizzle, your chops sizzle! It'll be all pain and no gain! All dross is your loss. You will learn quickly that money and pain can be great motivators.

Here are some highly motivational signs for your studio practice room:

CARELESS LIPS PRODUCE PINK SLIPS.
NEVER EAT AT CLAMSRUS.
DON'T WAKE UP TO KACKADOODLEDOO.
CLIPSRUS IS A BARBER SHOP!
NEVER MAKE FRIENDS WITH MISS ANOTE, NOR HER BROTHER, CHIP.
(IN FACT, DON'T EVEN BE THINKING ABOUT HER. . . . AND BEWARE OF THEIR DOG, SPLITZ)
SPLATTERS ARE SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN ELSEWHERE.
DR. PFITOOIE NO LONGER PRACTICES HERE.
THUDS ARE FOR BOWLING ALLEYS.
THE CONCERT HALL IS NOT A CRACK HOUSE.

Just the good notes, please.