A Trumpet Lesson with Professor Mahler

Professor: Come on in, you're next!  

Student: Hi, Professor Mahler.

Professor: I hope you're warmed up, because I've got a lot of stuff I am expecting you to play well for me today.

Student: What kind of stuff, Professor Mahler? 

Professor:  Contained in my scores is enough stuff to keep trumpet players at the peak of their game, and audiences coming back for more for a long time to come.  Now, let's take a look at your daily agenda.  Make sure to cover as many of these items as possible every day!


PROFESSOR MAHLER'S TRUMPET STUFF:

• soft as possible

• loud as possible

• lyric sweetness not expected of trumpet players

• long fluid chorales in all registers

• gnarly fanfares, fast and slow, soft and loud

• sudden rude pokes and jabs

• the mean and the ugly (the spirit, not the tone)

• high note diminuendos to nothing

• the mother of all offstage solos!

• shocking and unexpected entrances

• huge leaps in a single bound, soft and loud, fast and slow

• highest note, lowest note

• the longest note ever

• very quiet triplets on a low C sharp

• offstage screech part

• transposition always required 

• complete accuracy always expected

Student: Gee, professor, I'm not sure I am ready to do all of that stuff!  You see, I have many issues and problems that must be solved.  What can you suggest for all of my ailments?  

Professor Mahler:  What I have written is all you will ever need.